My Dad is A Farmworker.

He recently retired and wanted to get back to the land.  He grew up in a tiny village in The Republic of Macedonia whose main thoroughfare is still a cobblestone street. The smaller roads are all well worn dirt.  His family farmed everything for the household - grapes, wheat, corn, vegetables.  A diverse array of fruit and nut trees lined the property and just beyond were the grazing fields for cattle and sheep.  The sows hung out in the barn and the flock of chickens roamed the home garden.  While sustenance was a daily responsibility, their income came from apples.  My grandfather was one of the first in his village to plant apple trees in the 1930s upon his return to Macedonia from the U.S. (he never wanted to leave the U.S., though that is another story for another installment.)  He planted the larger apple orchard in the 1950s with varieties like Jonagold, Golden Delicious and Red Delicious that seem like heirlooms now with the diverse array of new apple options continually being engineered.  Every winter after harvest my Dedo (grandfather) would travel to the Yugoslavian capital at the time in Belgrade, bunk up with buddies and sell his fruit in the open green markets.  Apples have an extraordinary shelf life in cold conditions.  They hold on until early spring before they start to get mealy and are sold off in bulk cheaply for juice.  

Starting in the fall of 1998 I spent a year in Macedonia on a Fulbright Scholarship studying ethnic issues in the country and had the luxury of spending an apple harvest with my family.  Everyday we would climb apple trees, gently twist the apples off of their branches and carefully place them in cloth sacks slung over our shoulders until we were too lopsided to balance.  When we got sassy we crisscrossed bags over our torsos to make fewer trips to the tractor, though it certainly made walking more cumbersome.  I ate more apples that fall than I had in my entire lifetime under the golden autumn sun for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  The whole experience was delicious – the fatigue, the camaraderie and the stories, side by side with my uncle and two cousins. 

My parents moved to the U.S. in the late 1960s and while they were successful with small businesses working excruciatingly long hours every day, they have lived in this middle zone between two worlds – the one they left at age 18 and the one they can’t quite seem to get under the skin of 48 years later.  They became U.S. citizens in the late 1980s – I remember the day – my mom was wearing this beautiful shiny red lipstick that glowed against her vibrant olive skin, in gorgeous contrast with her blue and white calf-length checkered dress cinched at the waist with short puffy sleeves. Her curly auburn hair was shaped in a fashionable bob-cut and she wore dark blue open-toed shoes with red nail polish.  She clutched a leather bag as she kissed us goodbye and drove downtown to recite her oath.  

They never did move back to Macedonia as they originally planned when they were young kids making their way in Detroit.  A house in the suburbs, kids in school, roaming the country and traveling the world.  They gave us an extraordinary life, made us work hard, sparingly giving out compliments and showering us in love.  And they are still doing this today.  Which is why my dad is a farmworker.  My family moved to California from Michigan two years ago and my dad was bored to tears.  He can only plant so many gardens.  He spends hours tenderly watering each plant.  One day he wandered over to the Hispanic families down the block from the tasting room in Los Alamos as they were barbecuing outside, drinking cold beers and listening to music blasting out of a truck stereo.  He doesn’t speak a lick of Spanish though he felt more at home there than he had since moving to town.  He came back with a stack of tin foil wrapped ribs and a job.  He was to start the next day. 

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The next morning the ranch foreman picked him up at 5:30 am and drove up Cat Canyon in Los Alamos to the massive commercial Sutter Home vineyards.  I don’t remember what he did that first day though he hasn’t stopped since a year and a half on – shoot thinning, sucker pruning, leafing, vine positioning, hanging wires, row by row, day after day.  Harvest he says is the easiest time of year.  The vineyard is machine picked and only the edges of each row are hand-harvested, which the company outsources with an alternate crew.  He loves driving the tractor and organizing the machine shop.  He is the only 68-year old white man on the crew and often enough brags about out working the rest of his colleagues, men half his age, explicitly exalting his Macedonian work ethic.  This helped boost his ego when he and my mom recently vacationed in Key West and he was the fittest man at the pool.  (Vanity may run in the family.)  He hates when he doesn’t work half days on Saturdays and he gets post-harvest blues after the crew gets laid-off for the new year break.

My dad’s work is precisely why I got 1.5 tons of Chardonnay in 2015, which is now Tati’s Frizzante Chardonnay on tap at Babi’s. I got a call one hot early September Tuesday afternoon asking if I wanted some Chardonnay grapes.  “Tati, I don’t make Chardonnay.”  He told me the company wanted a strict 23.5 brix with a 3.5 ph and this freshly harvested batch was miscalculated at only 23 brix.  The company didn’t want it and they were going to have to dump it in the vineyard. “Such a shame.  It’s free,” he whispered in the phone. 

I could hear the disappointment in his voice so I asked to speak to the ranch manager, who told me he could drive the fruit over if I had something to dump it into.  Commercial harvesting equipment on this scale is completely different than the half ton picking bins the majority of smaller producers use.  This gondola of Chardonnay arrived 30 minutes later on a flatbed truck and we proceeded to bucket out the grapes into bins I could navigate.  I pressed the juice right away, let it cold settle in tank over night and the next day I took a sample for analysis.  Brix: 23.5.  Ph: 3.5. 

Last year in 2016 he kept asking me if I wanted to make more Chardonnay. “I will pick the best rows for you,” he kept saying.  “Tati, I don’t make Chardonnay,” I kept telling him.  He only half listens, like his daughter, waiting for a new entry to get his point across.  Not to mention this large commercial vineyard has zero desire to navigate a small timer like me with 1.5 tons of anything.  When there is a Macedonian will, there is a way.  This year Sutter Home is replanting entire swaths of old vines that have decreased in production capacity and he asked if I had any need to plant a vineyard with all of the material they were discarding.  “Such a shame,” he kept saying.

During pruning preparation this past February he wanted to treat the crew to lunch, so my brother and I drove out to deliver.  It was a bright glorious day as he drove up on the tractor with two of his companions.  He introduced us, beaming from ear to ear.  I understand his desire for camaraderie.  We are social beings.  Working with this crew outside in the fields brings him back to his childhood, the one he had to leave thinking he would return to.  It brings him that feeling I had picking apples with my family.  It brings him that accomplished, exhausted smile that I get after a good harvest day at the winery.  It also brings him closer to understanding me, his first-born child, the one he always told could do anything she wanted. 

Tati’s Frizzante Chardonnay was only produced in kegs last September.  It is light and refreshing.  Growlers coming soon.  Get it while supplies last on tap at Babi’s.  Tati can often be found in the beer room reading the news on his phone late afternoons enjoying an IPA while sitting in the purple velvet theater seats.  Be sure to say HI. Or Zdravo if you want to be cool. 

Inspiration and the Grand Experiment

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This is the moment of truth. The Grenache experiment provided a tremendous insight into the study of vineyards, site, terroir, typicity, microclimates, management – frankly all of the ways you can choose to refer to the environment in which grapes are grown. I challenged the variables of Grenache to try and better grasp its role in Santa Barbara County. While I do understand a bit more, it is incredible that I get to experiment and continue to be tested with every vintage. That is the beauty and contest of being a micro producer. My year is measured in grapes, as are other winemakers, though my year is measured in a much smaller percentage and quantity of grapes so those grapes need to be as special as they can be. There is little margin for error, yet wine can be forgiving and oftentimes takes on a life of its own.

Grenache’s role in Santa Barbara County, and elsewhere, is gaining popularity, as awareness rises for this complex, earthy, fruit-vibrant grape. As you have heard from me or other winemakers, we have ideal growing conditions for almost every varietal, as long as the vines are farmed to express their true characteristics (typicity) while thriving in its creativity and having the confidence to go off script (terroir) to produce depth of flavor and nuance that (hopefully) is unique to us. Impossible to prove, I know, hubristic even, yet I keep trying. It is also perhaps a defeatist ideal and in many moments it feels that way.

I am reminded that grapes transforming into wine tended to with care have a way of blossoming into their true form. This was imparted to me by Steve Rasumussen, former long-time winemaker at Talley Vineyards and wine educator at Allan Hancock. Though he probably has no memory of ever saying it, one of those moments when you are speaking to something you live and breath, he said, “You have to let wine come to its own fruition.” That resonated with me. You can’t control nature. That has been proven throughout time ad infinitum. Grapes and vineyards have a way of reinforcing that message year after year. Bravo for keeping us in check. Working with something and listening to its needs and rhythms always leads to a more enjoyable outcome than battle. Particularly over a glass of wine.

In July of 2015 when I was preparing to bottle the 2014 vintage red wines, I was in the winery with my individual wine samples from each vineyard trying to create the “perfect” blend. I was having a very difficult time. The wines expressed a unique individuality based on their vineyard site that I was not expecting nor looking for. Quite inconsiderate of me, I now know, particularly as I am one who prizes distinctiveness, though at the time I was entering unchartered territory. Thankfully. As a small business owner it is wonderful to be surprised to get out of one’s own way as the complexity of our jobs can put us in a day-to-day taking care of business mindset. This allowed me to refocus my energy on the creative and on what I truly loved to do; to reconnect with what inspired me at the start – to make wines expressing a single source from a single varietal to capture its uniqueness – just like in all of us.

For the GRENACHE SINGLE VINEYARD SERIES I wanted to further explore the site differentials in Grenache and I chose a harvest date that fit all vineyards: September 23rd, 2015. All five vineyards were harvested same day, processed individually the exact same way.  The only variable in their processing was the vineyard site. Come explore with me.

The Nose Knows

I recently learned what a true violet smells like. What a revelation.
Who knew something so delicate could create such an aromatic frenzy of the senses for me. Some violets actually have what is called an ionone compound, which temporarily desensitizes ones ability to smell, luring you to keep smelling, like a mirage, until your nose recovers. What a beautiful habit of nature; the ability to release magic at will.

Violet, fresh-cut grass, marzipan, butter, asparagus and manure (yes, it is true, apparently some varietals express this scent; think Provençal lavender fields next to cattle pasture) are just a few of the fragrances in the new Wine Aroma kits created by a master perfumer and sold through Enartis, a company that sells winemaking supplies and services. I learned about them through Enartis manager Amy Kolberg, whom I appreciatively call my wine therapist. We meet regularly to talk shop. I select a topic, like fermentation temperature, she relays the science, I relay winery results, then we bridge the gap by dissecting winemaker practices based on experience, folklore and superstition. We also create mini-experiments along the way to test our ideas on the ground. It is a marvelous way to enhance both of our professions while digging deeper into their challenges.

You’d be surprised to know the things winemakers do that have nothing to do with science and what winemakers do that only involves science. This is where the responsibility and ownership of decision-making comes into play. Anyone can make wine. Take grapes and jam them in a jar on the countertop and eventually something will happen. Yeasts are everywhere. It is the nuance of the decisions you make along the way that dictate your results. Starting with vineyard site selection through vintage release date, everything matters. There are a lot of things to consider and many ways to consider various choices. Knowing what you want to say is as important as knowing what you don’t want to say. Oftentimes you can hear everything in the silence. Having the confidence to execute your personal expression is what winemaking is all about for me. Science, folklore, practical experience and superstition all have their rightful place.

To me, the more I know, the more I know I don’t know, which means the more I want to know, and the vicious cycle of knowing and not knowing continues ad infinitum. I love it. All the certainty in the world isn’t enough to control a living organism. The incredible mysteries of winemaking are humbling, profound and connective. We are sharing them right now. These mysteries are also what keep me coming back, vintage after vintage, working to figure out how to keep making wine another year, and hopefully many, many years thereafter. I like to talk, I love to listen, and I have a lot to explore. Like sniffing violets, I work harder each time to renew that elusive revelation.

My Self-Portrait & Reflection

I never dreamt of being a winemaker.  I never knew that was even a thing, a job, a profession.  For me growing up, making wine was something everyone in the Macedonian villages did each fall when the grapes were ripe, along with roasting peppers for ajvar, fermenting vegetables, drying tobacco, distilling whiskey, burying chestnuts and hiding apples in straw for safekeeping.  I grew up on these stories and the wine my dad made in our Michigan garage.  “First, you take the grape,” he is famous for saying.  He told me how in preparation for harvest, my grandparents would clean their barrels with steam from hot rocks fired over an open flame.  They would time their picks to ferment on clear days so the weight of the clouds wouldn’t burden the wine with haze.  The barrels were positioned on their heads for fermentation.  Grape skins were kept in contact with the juice by a tightly woven wreath of branches floating on top of the must anchored by stones.  At some point during the ferment process when my grandfather deemed it ready, the first batch of slightly sweet wine was bled off through the spigot at the bottom.  This was called “shira” and the ladies loved it.

In some homes the must was kept with the juice all winter long.  In others, it was pressed off into different barrels.  There was no topping.  You simply pulled what you needed from the spigot each night from the barrel kept in cold storage.  When spring arrived and the wine supply was low, the remaining dregs were distilled into whiskey.  It was rare to bottle any wine.  As a kid visiting Macedonia each summer, wine was not a normal addition to the lunchtime table in the village.  The meal always started with whiskey and most of the time ended with whiskey with some beer thrown in to keep everyone honest.  Only in recent decades has the wine culture trend permeated Macedonia, as has every other global trend, and Macedonia today is now building on its history to craft a reputation as a premium wine producer. 

Which brings me back to the purpose of my thoughts today as I write.  My parents are coming to visit for Thanksgiving and I am making my mom her favorite whole-wheat pita bread.  As I gently stirred the yeast into the warm water to start a sponge the smell of fermentation struck me right in the third eye and I was instantly transported to the midst of harvest surrounded by fermentation bins, grape samples and barrels.  This was a very difficult harvest for me.  I started July 25th with Pinot Noir from Malibu and ended November 11th when I pressed Cabernet Sauvignon from Happy Canyon.  I also run two businesses and try to make sense out of this world in the process.  I am not complaining and I am fully aware that my story is not atypical.  Just to say that I am reminded now of just how exhausted I was in mid October when I met my parents in Washington DC for a Macedonian conference where I was the emcee. 

As they picked me up from the airport I tried to hide my stained and calloused hands from my mom who would at some point make a comment on them.  In the hotel room where we snacked on the delicacies she brought from home in archetypical Macedonian mother fashion, we were in conversation about the conference and its attendees.  (As an aside, I studied political science in undergrad and journalism in graduate school and I received a Fulbright scholarship to study ethnic issues in Macedonia in 1998-1999.  I imagined during that time I would be a journalist on the front lines toward peace.  But we all know what happens to the best-laid plans.)  As I am biting into a slice of my mother’s creation, she looks at me and says, “After all of your schooling and two degrees all you are is a winemaker.” 

I sat silent and continued eating, letting the conversation swirl around me.  It stung at first.  I am not sure if she knew what she meant or if she meant what she said.  I do know that she worries about my work being so physically demanding and she doesn’t really know how this fits in with her worldview.  As I mentioned before, you made a living doing something else and you made wine for living.  My parents, along with almost all other immigrant parents, wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer - the two professions that seem the most stable and lucrative.  Personal fulfillment was never part of the success equation.  As people who left their homes in search of better futures for themselves and their children, sacrifice and hard work were the only two things that made sense. Yet, here I am sacrificing and working hard exactly as they taught me every day of my life.

 I never retorted to her comment and the weekend slid by with all the other familial fat elephants.  And today as I knead this pita for my mom I am flooded by that moment and the emotional tailspin it sent me in.  What I wanted to say is, “Why isn’t this enough if it makes me happy?” when I realize that perhaps it is precisely too much.  They taught me too well.  My parents are conditioned to only see the hard work.  I don’t know how to explain to them the joy driving hidden roads in search of new vineyards.  The peace of the afternoon silence walking in the shadow of grapevines.  The pleasure of sorting cold fruit on its way to the destemmer.  The sweet smell of wine filling up a clean barrel.  The headiness of buzzing winemakers at the height of the day.  The satisfaction of holding a complete year of your life in a bottle and sharing it with others.

 They don’t see that in each bottle of wine are my self-portraits – all they see is their reflection along with the stains, calluses, stresses, struggles and missed calls.  Today I make wine for a living and make a life out of wine.  It was a path that guided me without revealing the road.  Thankfully I was blind to the challenges and propelled by forward momentum.  I just keep moving straight ahead, like my parents did when they began their life here in America 46 years ago.  

Sonja Magdevski

Does size matter?

"To let each impression and each embryo of feeling come to completion, entirely in itself, in the dark, in the unsayable, the unconscious, beyond the reach of one's own understanding, and with deep humility and patience to wait for the hour when a new clarity is born: this alone is what it means to live as an artist: in understanding as in creating." (Rainer Maria Rilke)

leeks, a sharp knife and cool marble make for the beginnings of a delicious soup. 

leeks, a sharp knife and cool marble make for the beginnings of a delicious soup. 

As I slit the leek with smooth precision down its center to open its tender insides, my sharp knife etches into the marble counter and my thoughts immediately wander towards my grandmother.  She used to visit us in Malibu once or twice a year, cooking from morning until night, squirreling away pieces of damp paper towel for later use.  I would get aggravated, telling her there are plenty of paper towels.  She never listened.  That is why I loved her.

When I lived with her back in Michigan, I sliced the first avocado she would ever taste in her 60s.  She, like I, became obsessed with them; their purity of flavor and texture, so subtle and sublime. Growing up in Macedonia, avocados were an exotic food to her, though she didn’t have any problem discovering Pringles potato chips pretty soon after she arrived in the United States. They were her favorite snack.  Salty, roasted cashews, too.  (Also a favorite of mine.)  The saltiness is so satisfying. 

On one of her last trips I was making soup.  I love making soup.  I always start a vibrant veggie stock before I make the final pot.  Leeks are my allium of choice, over onions for the mirepoix.  Their flavor is softer and more delicate for my tastes.  On this particular day we had an abundance of leeks growing in the garden so I felt powerful to use what I wanted.  I sliced the tender white and light green parts away from the darker, tougher, thicker green stalk at the top and discarded them into the compost bin.  My grandmother let out a scream.  “What are you doing?  Why are you throwing that away?” 

“Babi,” I said, “the white part is best and the dark green is too harsh for food,” I responded in my own defense.  “Ahh! Who told you that?” she laughed as she grabbed the leeks out of the bin and cleaned them thoroughly under the running water.  Upset, she put them away near her paper towels on a clean plate.  I continued making the stock, chopping celery, carrots, potatoes, zucchini, ginger, tomatoes and jalapenos, sautéing them slowly and making bouquet garnis to add to the soon to be simmering liquid.  When the stock was finished a while later, I strained the liquid into another pot, squeezed the last of the juices from the vegetables in the strainer and proceeded to throw away the cooked vegetables.  My grandmother gave me another look of shock.

“Don’t worry.  I have taken all I can from these vegetables for the stock.  The soup will be delicious with fresh vegetables and the layers of flavors I just built.  I promise,” I said.  She was doubtful and upset.  I continued slicing and dicing fresh vegetables – carrots, potatoes, zucchini, haricot verts, spinach – and adding them to the stock accordingly.  My grandmother came next to me at the stove and took out a sauté pan, placed it on the burner opposite me and lit the gas.  She began thinly slicing her dark green leeks that she gently sautéed in olive oil.  She scrambled six eggs and added them to the pan when the leeks were ready.  A healthy dash of sea salt and a number of grinds from the pepper mill and her dish was ready right in sync with the soup.  We toasted thick slices of bread, cut some salty Macedonian cheese and set the table for a delicious meal.

Each time I slice a leek I think of my grandmother and the lessons of making something beautiful out of what may otherwise have not been desired.  She was the kind of woman who could make a gourmet meal with an empty pantry. 

The other day when I began to make soup again, I had just finished reading an article about a winemaker who refused a shipment of fruit during harvest because the berry size was not to the winemaker’s specifications.  This winemaker was being lauded because of the exacting demands this winemaker placed on the growers this winemaker worked with.  This was apparently a good example of strict adherence to quality.  To me, in fact, it was quite the opposite.  I thought how insensitive and wasteful this was, actually.  And moreover, how sad, too, that this winemaker couldn’t see the beauty of improvisation and a new way to change the paradigm of said winemaker’s template.  Maybe a different berry size would create a new flavor profile never experienced before, possibly better then before.  Maybe the winemaker needed to change processing of this fruit to create something even more unique instead of being stuck into a regimen that doesn’t work with the impossible human demands on nature.  I also wondered if the winemaker ever visited the vineyard to know the growing cycle of that vineyard so it wasn’t such a disappointment when the fruit actually arrived on harvest day. 

I wanted the addendum to the story to be of the person who took that rejected fruit in the fire sale of fresh picked grapes with no shelf life.  That person is probably supremely happy with the result of this wine from a great vineyard that happened to be sub par to one and impeccable to another. 

To me, winemaking is about working with the best of what nature can provide guided by intelligent, thoughtful and careful people.  We are so lucky to make wine in an area here in Santa Barbara County where bad fruit really is not an option.  And from what I know of said winemaker, the vineyards that this person works with are incredible, as well.  This isn’t about accepting mediocrity or paying for lousy, lazy work.  But there is a fine line in farming and sometimes we have to know when to delicately scramble the dark green parts to make something delicious to share with others. 

the magic hour.

the magic hour.

Sonja Magdevski